Funny Quotes That Will Make You Laugh & Make Your Day

Life is like ups and downs roller-coaster, and when we are facing ups, then its good things for us, but the downtime gives us stress. The majority of people are dealing with stress in life because of so many responsibilities and some stressful issues. Life has an uncountable dimension to offer you, and it is up to us to choose the size. Life also has some funny side that works as a stress buster. Some Funny Quotes about life help you to see this side.

What better means to draw attention than humour with quotes? We’ve listened to those before—funny quotes about life that got their choice to the side of our social media feeds. But apart from growing into an exciting pastime, these funny quotes and sayings can change the brand of the churches that created them. You can use funny birthday quotes to bring out laughter on a special day. These humorous, funny motivational quotes marks succeed in getting their attention and possibly take more members to connect. 

Being productive and enjoy yourself. Funny life quotes will take you away from negativity.

Funny quotes and sayings

If you are a movie lover you can use funny movie quotes as well. Sometimes the difference between a stressful time and the easier one is all in the view, and funny quotes on stress will bring exactly the view you want! Whether the humorously-crafted quote that opens you up to the new way of seeing the old place is exactly what you want to see things in a fresh manner, Or if you only want the humour that comes with how the thought is presented, these humorous stress quotes will give your idea the change or the feeling the ride.

  • I intend to live forever. So far, so good. Steven Wrigh
  • Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week. Spanish proverb
  • When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. Rodney Dangerfield
  • Rice is great when you’re hungry and you want 2000 of something. Mitch Hedberg
  • Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. Unknown
  • I remixed a remix, it was back to normal. Mitch Hedberg
Funny quotes in english
Funny quotes in English
  • The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice cream. Bill Murray
  • I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done. Steven Wright
  • A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. Steven Wright
  • I have always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific. Lily Tomlin
  • Don’t be so humble – you are not that great. Golda Meir
  • This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last. Oscar Wilde
Funny motivational quotes
Funny motivational quotes
  • Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off. Bill Murray
  • Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. Mark Twain
  • I wrote a few children’s books… not on purpose. Steven Wright

THE BEST AND FUNNIEST QUOTES

You need to understand that a pressurise situation leads you toward the wrong decision you need to balance your life between both sides severe and funny. Human beings tend to find faults, and that generates overthinking, and stress is the by-product of all. Funny quotes and sayings of the wise people help you to learn that take it lightly all your problems and don’t be panic.

  • If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success? Jerry Seinfeld
  • I like Kit-Kat, unless I’m with four or more people. Mitch Hedberg
  • I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. Steven Wright
  • I live on a one-way street that’s also a dead end. I’m not sure how I got there. Steven Wright
  • Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. Billy Sunday
  • Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright. Laurell K. Hamilton
  • I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. Mark Twain
Short funny sayings
Short funny sayings
  • A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. Winston S. Churchill
  • When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye. Cathy Guisewite
  • Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer. Ellen DeGeneres
  • It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.
  • Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. Will Rogers
  • I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it. Rodney Dangerfield
  • That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin
  • If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out. Lawrence Ferlinghetti
  • A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it. George Bernard Shaw
  • I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. Fred Allen
  • If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments. Steven Wright
  • The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so. Gore Vidal
  • My esteem in this country has gone up substantially. It is very nice now that when people wave at me, they use all their fingers. Jimmy Carter (US president 1977 to 1981)
  • The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Albert Einstein
  • The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not. Mark Twain

SHORT FUNNY QUOTES AND HUMOROUS LINES

  • One-liners, short funny quotes, sayings, thoughts and captions for your bio, social status, self-talk, motto, mantra, signs, posters, wallpapers, backgrounds.
  • The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it. Joan Rivers
  • When nothing is going right, go left.
  • Reality continues to ruin my life. Bill Watterson
  • Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. Phyllis Diller
  • Never miss a good chance to shut up. Will Rogers
  • Sane is boring. R.A. Salvatore
  • I’m addicted to placebos. Steven Wright
  • I’d like to live like a poor man – only with lots of money. Pablo Picasso
  • Puns are the highest form of literature. Alfred Hitchcock
  • Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. Elbert Hubbard
  • All generalizations are false, including this one. Mark Twain
  • What’s another word for Thesaurus? Steven Wright
  • If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn’t type any slower. Mitch Hedberg
  • Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.
  • What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

Funny quotes about life

  • My life feels like a test I didn’t study for.
  • I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.
  • My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. Unknown
  • I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.
Short funny quotes for kids
Short funny quotes for kids
  • Everything happens for a reason. But sometimes the reason is that you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.
  • I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head. Steven Wright
  • I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early. Jack Benny
  • I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror. Danny Zuker
  • Finally my winter fat is done. Now I have spring rolls.
Real funny quotes
Real funny quotes
  • Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.
  • My brain has too many tabs open.
  • I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.
  • My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

FUNNY LINES FROM PINTEREST, REDDIT, TUMBLR, FACEBOOK, TWITTER

  • I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.
  • Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.
  • If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.
  • I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges im holding onto are.
  • “Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.
  • In this horrible time, let us at least be bolstered by small miracles like finding out your ex moved to a different city. Aparna Nancherla
  • You’re welcome to come here, except my beds from Ikea so it’s more unstable than i am.
  • If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.
  • You’ll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.
  • I am not lazy. I am on energy saving mode.
  • I just want my stomach to be as flat as my ass. #FitnessGoals
  • What was your key motivation for this piece? The due date.

Also Read:- funny love quotes

TWISTED HUMOR, QUIRKY LINES AND SARCASTIC SAYINGS

  • Men cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter. James A. Garfield
  • Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good. Beth McCollister
  • I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. Rodney Dangerfield
  • I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet. Rodney Dangerfield
  • My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. Rodney Dangerfield
  • I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. Rodney Dangerfield
  • If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. Abraham Lincoln
  • You’re only as good as your last haircut. Fran Lebowitz
  • My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. Mitch Hedberg
  • I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. Mitch Hedberg
  • What a nice night for an evening. Steven Wright
  • I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
  • Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? Steven Wright
  • I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. Steven Wright
  • Am I perfect? No. But am I striving to be a better person every day? Also no.
  • Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT FRIENDS

  • Love is blind; friendship tries not to notice. Otto von Bismarck
  • It’s only because of their stupidity that they’re able to be so sure of themselves. Franz Kafka
  • Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they’d lock us up? All the time. Wendy Mass
  • A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have.
  • As your best friend I’ll always pick you up when you fall, after I finish laughing.
  • Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a beautiful day.
  • Please cancel my subscriptions to your issues.
  • If you ran like your mouth, you’d be in good shape.
  • I’m not arguing. I’m simply explaining why I’m right.
  • Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway. Greg Tamblyn
  • If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. Henny Youngman
  • There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate. Linda Grayson
  • Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty. Sicilian Proverb
  • It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • If you’re hotter than me, then that means I’m cooler than you.

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT SCHOOL, EDUCATION (OR IN A YEARBOOK)

  • I spent 113 880 hours of my life for a paper and a handshake.
  • All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height. Casey Stengel
  • A child educated only at school is an uneducated child. George Santayana
  • The happier we get, the less we see. Asian Kid
  • You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go. Bill Watterson
  • Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school. Albert Einstein
  • In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson. Tom Bodett
  • Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. Abe Lemons
  • Education can get you the only thing that really matters in today’s world – an assigned parking space. Gene Perret
  • It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows. Epictetus
  • No wonder the teacher knows so much; she has the book. Edgar Watson Howe
  • Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance. Will Durant
  • People learn something every day, and a lot of times it’s that what they learned the day before was wrong. Bill Vaughan
  • Work hard, nap hard. Demi Lovato
  • The human brain is special. It starts working as soon as you get up and it doesn’t stop until you get to school. Milton Berle
  • When a teacher calls a boy by his entire name, it means trouble. Mark Twain
  • School is learning things you don’t want to know, surrounded by people you wish you didn’t know, while working toward a future you don’t know will ever come. Dave Kellett
  • The most important thing we learn at school is the fact that the most important things can’t be learned at school. Haruki Murakami
  • I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know. Bill Watterson

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT WORK AND COWORKERS

  • My career plans were much more exciting when I was 5.
  • Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. Mark Twain
  • A boss on vacation is the most cost effective measure. Everybody in the office has a vacation at the cost of one. Thibaut
  • There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. Henry Kissinger
  • Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. George Carlin
  • Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. Mark Twain
  • Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. Jules Renard
  • The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management. Scott Adams (Dilbert)
  • The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. Oscar Wilde
  • Every time you feel yourself being pulled into other people’s drama, repeat these word: Not my circus, not my monkeys. Polish Proverb
  • If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses. Henry Ford
  • The closest a person ever comes to perfection is when he fills out a job application form. Stanley Randall
  • Sorry for being late. I got caught up enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.
  • I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is wait/plan/plan.
  • I’m sorry. I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT FAMILY AND PARENTING

  • Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. George Burns
  • If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance. George Bernard Shaw
  • Don’t yell at your kids! Lean in real close and whisper, it’s much scarier.
  • Sometimes I’m so tired, I look down at what I’m wearing, and if it’s comfortable enough to sleep in, I don’t even make it into my pajamas. I’m looking down, and I’m like T-shirt and stretchy pants? Yup, that’s pajama-y. Good night. Rebecca Romijn
  • The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable. Lane Olinghouse
  • Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You’ll realize this as soon as they are born and start using sleep deprivation to torture you. Ray Romano
  • I don’t know what’s more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or the acting like you know what you’re doing. Jim Gaffigan
  • It just occurred to me that the majority of my diet is made up of the foods that my kid didn’t finish. Carrie Underwood
  • When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. Nora Ephron
  • Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family. Chelsea Handler
  • My nickname is ‘Mom’, but my full name is ‘Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom’.
  • Toddler: Emotionally unstable pint-sized dictator with the uncanny ability to know exactly how far to push you towards utter insanity before reverting to a loveable creature.
  • I never know what to say when people ask me what my hobbies are. I mean, I’m a mom.

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT WOMEN

  • The most terrifying thing any woman can say to me is “Notice anything different? Mike Vanatta
  • Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. Oscar Wilde
  • A woman’s mind is cleaner that a man’s; She changes it more often. Oliver Herford
  • I don’t have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who’d be mad at me for saying that. Mitch Hedberg
  • Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make men stupid. Dave Barry
  • Feminine intuition is a fiction and a fraud. It is nonsensical, illogical, emotional, ridiculous, and practically foolproof. Harry Haenigsen
  • The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired. Milton Berle
  • When my wife says she’ll be ready in 5 minutes, I know I have just enough time to fly to space and write a poem on the moon before we go. Mike Vanatta
  • God made Adam first because he didn’t want any advice from Eve how to make Adam.
  • There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. P. J. O’Rourke
  • Women give us solace, but if it were not for women we would never need solace. Don Herold
  • America is a land where men govern, but women rule. John Mason Brown

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT MEN

  • Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract. Kathy Lette
  • When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there’s a reason. Molly McGee
  • Men are like a deck of cards. You’ll find the occasional king, but most are jacks. Laura Swenson
  • Coffee, chocolate, men. The richer the better!
  • A man in love is like a clipped coupon – it’s time to cash in. Mae West
  • A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him. Brendan Francis
  • The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything. Friedrich Nietzsche

Enjoying your life does not mean to go for enjoyment only. You need to enjoy and live fully by exploring every side of life. Some Funny Quotes about life show that you don’t need to be serious all the time and what is the importance of each side of life. Senses of humour in life improve your mental health and stay you away from unnecessary stress.

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