Hilarious Shrek Quotes to Bring Out the Ogre in You

Shrek is one of the most iconic characters in the history of animated movies. He’s easily one of the most iconic characters in the history of the cinema, period. Kids are just in love with this character. Shrek fits into the fantasy cliches perfectly by being an ogre who then becomes a hero by doing the heroic act, when the chances are given to him to save a beautiful princess. In this process, the character did say many great lines. We have compiled the best of Shrek quotes.

Shrek donkey quotes are a must to look at as in just conversation among themselves they did mention quite a lot of good lines.

Shrek Quotes about friendship

When Shrek Quotes onion the same as an ogre, the character donkey is unable to understand the meaning then he explains to him that they both have layers to themselves. Shrek proved to be a great friend and thus so Shrek quotes about friendship are great as they have the pun and the meaning behind them is also great.

  • “Please. I don’t wanna go back there. You don’t know what it’s like to be considered a freak… Well, maybe you do, but that’s why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay!” – Donkey
  • “Wow, only a true friend would be that truly honest.” –Donkey
  • “This’ll be fun. We’ll stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning… I’m making waffles.” – Donkey
  • “Well it’s no wonder you don’t have any friends.” – Shrek
  • “Because that’s what friends do, they FORGIVE EACH OTHER.” – Donkey
  • “No! I’m an ogre! You know, “Grab your torch and pitchforks!” Doesn’t that bother you?” – Shrek
  • “Wow. Let’s do that again.” –Donkey

Smelly Shrek quotes

  • “Wow, that was scary and if you don’t mind me saying if that doesn’t work, your breath will certainly get the job done, ’cause you need some Tic Tacs or something ’cause your breath STINKS.” – Donkey
  • “Ogres are like onions.” – Shrek
  • “Man, you gotta warn somebody before you crack one like that. My mouth was open and everything.” – Donkey
  • “And then one time I ate some rotten berries. Man, some strong gases were seeking outta my butt that day.” – Donkey

  • “Donkey, if that was me, you’d be dead. That’s brimstone… we must be getting close.” – Shrek
  • “Yeah, right, brimstone, don’t be talking about no brimstone. I know what I smelt and it wasn’t no brimstone and it didn’t come off no stone neither.” – Donkey

Shrek quotes that made the adults laugh

  • “Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.” –Captain of Guards
  • “You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a super-fly, but I bet you ain’t never seen a donkey fly.” – Donkey
  • “Whoa. Look at that. Who’d wanna live in a place like that?” – Donkey “That would be my home.” – Shrek
  • “Y’know, me too. That’s another thing we have in common. I hate it when you’ve got someone in your face, you try to give someone a hint and they won’t leave, and then there’s that big awkward silence…” – Donkey
  • “He hoofed unt he proofed unt he… signed an eviction notice.” – Little Pig
  • “Although she lives with seven other men, she’s not easy.” –Magic Mirror

  • “Do you think he’s maybe compensating for something?” –Shrek
  • “I just know, before this is over, I’m gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy. Look at my eye twitchin’.” – Donkey
  • “Some of you may die, but its a sacrifice I’m willing to make.” – Lord Farquaad
  • “What kind of a knight are you?” – Princess Fiona “One of a kind.” – Shrek
  • 24. “Eat me.” Gingerbread Man
  • “C’mon, princess, you’re not that ugly. All right, you are ugly. But you’re only like this at night. Shrek’s ugly 24/7.” – Donkey
  • “Huh, celebrity marriages. They never last, do they?” – Donkey
  • “Can I stay with you? Please?” – Donkey “Of course.” – Shrek “Really?” –Donkey “NO.”- Shrek
  • “Don’t mess wit’ me. I’m the Stair Master. I’ve Mastered the Stairs. I wish I had a step right here, I could step here and here and here and step all over it.” – Donkey
  • “Sure it’s big enough… but look at the location.” – Shrek

Fairy tale Shrek Quotes

Shrek the musical quotes are also very lovely as well as have a great literal meaning. One of our favourites is “what makes us special is what makes us strong” and as it is about an ogre becoming a hero, the inspirational Shrek quotes are quite good.

  •  “I’m not a puppet. I’m a real boy.” – Pinocchio
  • “Yes, I know the muffin man. Who lives on Drury Lane?” – Lord Farquaad
  • “Okay, let me get this straight: you gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad’ll give you back your swamp, which you only don’t have ‘cos he filled it full of freaks in the first place, is that about right?” – Donkey
  • “Oh, what large teeth you have. I mean white sparkly teeth, I know you probably hear this all the time from your food but you must bleach or something, ’cause that’s one dazzling smile you got there and do I detect a hint of minty freshness?” – Donkey
  • “What are you doing? You know, you should sweep me off my feet out yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed.” – Princess Fiona
  • “The Princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower.” – Shrek
  • “So where is this fire-breathin’ pain in the neck, anyway?” – Donkey “In the tower, waiting for us to rescue her.” – Shrek “I was talkin’ about the dragon, Shrek.” – Donkey
  • “I’m not the monster here. You are. You and the rest of that fairy tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. Now, tell me! Where are the others?!” –Lord Farquaad
  • “You didn’t slay the dragon?” – Princess Fiona “It’s on me “to do” list. Now come on.” – Shrek
  • “But this isn’t right. You’re meant to charge in, the sword is drawn, banner flying that’s what all the other knights did.” – Princess Fiona “Yeah, right before they burst into flame.” – Shrek
  • “Once upon a time, there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love’s first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed. She waited in the dragon’s keep, in the highest room of the tallest tower, for her true love, and true love’s first kiss.” – Shrek

More Shrekisms and Shrek quotes

  • “All right, you’re going the right way for a smacked bottom.” – Shrek
  • “Well, that’s not very nice.” – Shrek
  • “Thank you, thank you very much. I’m here ’til Thursday. Try the veal.” – Shrek
  • “NO. Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. Do you get it? We both have layers.” – Shrek
  • “That’ll do, Donkey. That’ll do.” – Shrek
  • “Donkey, two things okay? Shut… up.” – Shrek
  • “Oh, would you look at that.” – Shrek

  • “Well, I have to save my ass.” – Shrek
  • “Like that’s ever gonna happen. What a load of…” – Shrek
  • “Little donkey. Take a look at me, what am I?” – Shrek

Which of these Shrek quotes is your favourite?

There are currently four Shrek movies in the franchise, with the 5th one scheduled for late 2019 or early 2020. I did a little research and it doesn’t appear to be cancelled but is taking longer than expected. It has been so long since I have seen the first four, and since I am basically quarantined in the house with the kids for a while, now might be the perfect time for a refresher.

Which of the films is your favourite? Do you have a favourite character? My least favourite character is, of course, Farquaad, but for a reason, you might have missed it!

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